They are in the kitchen cooking dinner. I am alone.
Where are u?
After the Funeral Director takes you away, we sit on the floor just outside the kitchen and eat the roast with our hands.
At some point I remember that I don’t have the money for your funeral. It’s still in your bank account and I panic that now you're dead, your account will be frozen and I won’t be able to access the funds. I have H drive me down to the machine and withdraw the maximum amount for the day, $1000. I do this for the next 9 days, sure that I will be arrested for robbing a dead man.
When I go to pay for the funeral, I take the perfect stack of $100 notes. There are 88 of them and I exchange them for your ashes. The Funeral Director looks unsure about the cash, but doesn’t say anything. I am equally unsure about the white box he gives me - surely this isn’t all of you? We are silent.
I buckle you into the front seat of the car. The whole thing is absurd and we are laughing. When I get home, I put you on the bedside table. You stay there for a long time, until I tip you in the garden. I dig you in so the cat won’t pee on you, as per our discussions.
You are now flowers.